[The first 30 seconds or so of this encounter weren’t recorded- I noticed my recorder was off and flipped it back on, but from memory: LL came in while XAVIUL was asking LAVANYA if they ever apologized, saying that you NEVER APOLOGIZE, NOT EVEN ONCE, pretending to be the hunter! LAVANYA and XAVIUL, knowing better, were laughing and poking fun as LL declared himself the Hunter, lord of the land! XAVIUL asked what his name was again- LL said “THE HUNT...ER…” to more laughter.]
XAVIUL: Oh noooo, I’m so scareddd. :’( Whatever shall we do?
LL: YOU SHOULD- COWER. COWER AT THE MIGHT, AND MAYHEM, AND GLUTES OF HUNT THE STRONG.
XAVIUL: Oh nooo, I didn’t know that Hunter also was super into dude’s asses!
LAVANYA: [LAUGHTER]
LL: YESSS.
LAVANYA: Equal opportunity asses, Xaviul! Equal opportunity!
XAVIUL: Oh noo, if only-
LL: I get the feeling that you’re not buying this.
XAVIUL: Ah- ah darn it, you messed it up right before I asked my patron LAUGH-LAST to protect us!
LL: Oh- [MENACING] GO AHEAD, TRY IT! SEE IF HE'S POWERFUL ENOUGH.
XAVIUL: [DRAMATICALLY] Please, LAUGH LAST, come to our aid!
LL: [SWOOSHING NOISE, THEN IN HIS NORMAL VOICE] HEY! IT’S ME! [CHUCKLING]
XAVIUL: Oh thank god!
LL: I HEARD YOUR CALL. YOU SUMMONED ME AND I CAME. BECAUSE THAT’S HOW IT WORKS. [LAUGHTER]
XAVIUL: [LAUGHING] It’s so great to hear from you!
LL: THAT WAS A CLOSE CALL, BUT DON’T WORRY. I HAVE… TAKEN CARE OF BUSINESS AND PROTECTED YOU.
XAVIUL: Thank god. [JOKING] And you totally didn’t look at his glutes on the way out, right?
LAVANYA: [LAUGHS]
LL: I MEAN- THEY’RE PRETTY SYMMETRICAL.
XAVIUL: Oh… Well, I guess you’re only a god after all. So how’ve you been?
LL: SURVIVING.
XAVIUL: Yeahhh, guess that’s all we can ask for isn’t it.
LAVANYA: Especially right now.
LL: YES.
XAVIUL: Yeah, have you heard about all the crazy stuff going on? I’ve been sending you prayers, but. Y’know, I know some of them can get long anddd you don’t really have the attention span.
LL: I LISTEN TO THE FIRST, YOU KNOW, FOUR OR FIVE SECONDS OF EACH OF THEM.
XAVIUL: Yeah, I figured. That’s why I send a whole bunch of them, so- I’ll just try to condense them more in the future.
LAVANYA: We made a powerpoint! :D
LL: YEAH, NEXT TIME- TRY BULLET POINTS.
XAVIUL: [LAUGHING] Noted, noted. [XAVIUL HAS BEEN STANDING IN FRONT OF THE BETWEEN PORTAL] But heyyy, want to see something coolll?
LL: OF COURSE.
XAVIUL: Perfect! Let’s go!
[XAVIUL ENTERS THE BETWEEN.]
XAVIUL: Can you see me?
LL: [SHOCKED] W-WH. WH. WHAT?
XAVIUL: Yeah!
LAVANYA: Pretty nifty, right?
LL: IT FEELS… FAMILIAR.
[AS LAUGH LAST SPEAKS, THE SKY IN THE BETWEEN GLOWS.]
XAVIUL: Oh, it glows with you!
LL: [SADLY] LIKE A… A PLACE I ONCE EXISTED… BUT… THE MEMORY IS FLEETING…
XAVIUL: Yeah.. Kinda like your sisters?
LL: [PAUSE] I… OH… [SOUNDING DISTRACTED] WHERE DID YOU FRIENDS… GO?
XAVIUL: Uhhh, they can’t come in here with us, but. It’s fine, we’ll go back to them in a minute! [THE COUNTDOWN STARTS] Oh, here we go.
LL: THANK YOU. FOR SHOWING ME THIS PLACE.
XAVIUL: You’re welcome.
LL: I… FEEL LIKE I SHOULD REPAY THE FAVOR.
XAVIUL: Oh yeah?
[XAVIUL IS TELEPORTED BACK TO THE MAZE. UPON EXITING THE BETWEEN, SHE GETS BROUGHT TO MINIMUM HEALTH.]
XAVIUL: Oof. How did I get hurt!? D:<
LAVANYA: [LAUGHS]
LL: WOULD YOU- WOULD YOU LIKE A GIFT?
XAVIUL: Oh yeah! :D What sorta gift?
LL: OH. IT IS. SPECIAL. HAND CRAFTED, OVER MANY WEEKS, BY THE FINEST TEAM OF ARTISANS.
XAVIUL: Ohhh!
LAVANYA: Oh fuck!
LL: A TOKEN. A TOKEN, SOMETHING THAT WILL SET YOU APART FROM THE REST. AS MY FAVORITE CHUCKLEHEAD.
XAVIUL: Awww. You’re too good to me.
LL: WELL. IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE.
XAVIUL AND LAVANYA: [LAUGHS]
XAVIUL: Well, we gotta stick together and survive all this!
LL: THAT’S RIGHT.
XAVIUL: Getting harder and harder every night.
LL: KEEP ME POSTED ON WHAT THAT SILLY PACT IS. UP TO.
XAVIUL: Well Seed is, y’know, their head honcho now.
LL: OHH~?
XAVIUL: Yeah.
LL: THAT’S INTERESTING…
LAVANYA: But it’s a little bit, mm…
XAVIUL: Yeah, it is, but.. I mean, she’s trusting, y’know.. Thee-I-Dare. And we all know he invented the lie, so y’know. You have to wonder..
LL: EWW. IF YOU’RE GOING TO INVENT SOMETHING, INVENT LAUGHTER. [LAUGHS]
XAVIUL: He’s not original enough. That’s why you always baffled him.
LL: WELL AS SOON AS HE APOLOGIZES, WE CAN.. GET IN THE ROOM TOGETHER.
XAVIUL: We could…
LAVANYA: About thattt. I don’t think you really want to be in the room with him, but-
LL: NOT WITH HIM, BUT… I WOULDN’T SAY NO TO S-E-E-D.
LAVANYA: That would be a little hard...
XAVIUL: Yeah but the thing is, he just seems to be really trying to, like. Y;know. Put a sword in her hand and like, send her out there with a firm pat on the behind to go, y’know, face off against Hunt. And y’know.. I just don’t know how well that’s going to go for her. Or any of them, really.
LL: I DON’T EITHER. WHICH IS I KEEP- WHICH IS WHY I KEEP THEM AT ARMS LENGTH.
XAVIUL: Wise, always wise. But, y’know… SAO is still… Open to the idea, and they aren’t going to join this war! They want nothing to do with it, they’re happy to let everyone fight amongst themselves.
LL: GROSS. HARD PASS. EWW.
XAVIUL: [LOUD SIGH] You are a tough crowd!
LL: HEY, IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE, LIKE I SAID. [LAUGHS]
XAVIUL: Look, I’m just trying to wheel and deal here with you so that I make sure both of us keep our eyes on the prize. Which is being the last ones.
LL: THE LAST LAUGH.
XAVIUL: Yes!
LL: I APPRECIATE IT. ALL OF YOU.
LAVANYA: [SOFTLY] Aww.
XAVIUL: But, y’know… The pact, they’re always going to be keeping one eye on you. Like, your brother said as much, that they just expect you to fall into line because you’ll be too afraid of S-E-E-D to really step out of it.
LL: WELL, NO ONE REALLY KNOWS, DO THEY? IN FACT, IF I’M BEING TOTALLY SINCERE, I DON’T REALLY KNOW WHAT I’M GOING TO DO EITHER.
XAVIUL: [LAUGHING] I know!
LL: IT’S SORT OF A- MINUTE BY MINUTE THING.
XAVIUL: Don’t worry, I’ve noticed!
LL: ALRIGHT. I MUST BID YOU ADIEU.
XAVIUL: Alright.
LL: I’VE GOT AN IMPRESSION TO WORK ON. [MENACING AGAIN] FOR I AM EVERYWHERE AND EVERYTHING. AND I… SHALL HUNT THE STRONGGGG!
XAVIUL: [LAUGHING] Alright, make sure you do a long menacing laugh, that’s what really gets them!
LL: MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!
XAVIUL: There you go! Open up with that next time!
LAVANYA: Exactly!
LL: WILL DO. PEACE OUT, WORD TO YOUR MOMMA.
XAVIUL: You know her best!
[LAUGH LAST LEAVES, AND THE KIDS ARE ABLE TO COMPLETE THE MISSION NORMALLY AND GAIN XP. WHEN XAVIUL GETS BACK TO THE BOXCAR, SHE HAS A LAUGH LAST MASK WAITING.]
