Claire: -I’ll turn it off…
Blake: What the f*ck?
Claire: Right? I hit it with two foam!
Blake: How did it not go off? Like…
Claire: Like, I hit a Lucid with it the second time! I hit it square on the first time…
Blake: This is a crime...
Claire: The second time! I hit it square on the second time,
Blake:Blake: I’m also very sad I couldn’t find anymore foam
Claire(ooc): ‘cuz the first time it had the arch right on top of it, but for some reason it exploded like right at my feet and I was like ‘bruh…’
Blake: Weird...
Claire: Can we pleeease just..have good luck...I just want chill-mission night…
(Enter HQ/Dax)
HQ: Hoyo there, Noonytunes. I think it was your prayer I heard? Um. And I know your name now, but don’t worry, I will probably forget it, people’s real names are boring.
(Disclaimer - I sent a light to LL stating my “real” name...I probably shouldn’t have to clarify but just in case, I want it noted that it’s my character’s name, not like my real, personal name. Just in case there was any chance of confusion here.)
Claire: Oh! Hey, uh..
Blake: *starting to read but text goes by too fast* “Hoyo there, Noonytunes. I think it was your prayer I heard? Um.”...
Claire: Don’t worry! I got my text-to-speech on!
Blake: Okay! Okay, uh! Well
Claire: Yeahhh, I like ‘Noonytunes’ better *laughs* But, I mean, it’s kind of like, an (in case of) emergency situation...so….ya know….Just in case the worst happens~ Not that I’m expecting the worst because~ I ain’t done sh*t. I ain’t gonna get myself killed. I ain’t that stoopid.
HQ: You said something about your real name, and how your body is eventually LL’s. But not in a weird way, which… hi WTF
Claire: *mortified that was taken entirely the wrong way* Listen, its as a host! As a host!! Okay?? Like...It wasn’t supposed to be in a weird way but I worded it weird, leave me alone! Don’t call me out like that! *nervous laughter*
Claire: Bruh…
Blake: Reason number two-hundred why Noon should never talk to her god
Claire: *laughing* Leave me alone! *more laughter* I’m sure he loves me!
Blake: Are we sure about that?
Claire: I am one hundred percent sure that LAUGH-LAST loves me :3
Blake: *laugh*
Claire: I’ll die on this hill
(shape be like, “then perish”)
Claire: Oh come on! *crying/laughing* Noooooo
Blake: Do you want me to cause some chaos for you?
Claire: Please? Ohmygod, he’s like, literally right up my ass…Ohmygod, I don’t…. F*ck...I need to get up somewhere quiet… I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be...I think it was because I kept getting that Lucid agro’d earlier trying to turn off that stupid speed trap… But anyway, yeah, I’m- *gets grabbed by a Lucid* Oh come onn! *getting back to HQ*...I meant it as, eventually I’d like to host him...I didn’t mean it in some f*ckin weird-ass way…Oh, I shouldn’t cuss that much tonight…
HQ: Well, he responded. He said… “WeiRD waY? Ew wHy? i aM a mAn aBouT toWn buT i Am noT iNTo mORTals, oR kiDS! i MEaN…” Then he said…
Blake: *laughing*
Claire: I’m just trying to keep my words straight! Like *laughing*
Blake: *dying*
Claire: I just turned fifteen! That’s illegal!
Blake: *still dying* Oh, Jesus
Claire: *still laughing*
Blake: Oh, god…I feel like I’m intruding on something here
Claire: Oh crap, I still have the Shape on me, I totally forgot, sh*t…
Blake: I’m getting him on me, don’t worry
Claire: Okay, I’m sorry...Oh! F*ck meeee!! ..Oh, okay I have a candybar...I’m gonna try to get up top so I can at least ...Shape dodge easier…
Blake: How much more of this do I have to do? Come on >:T
Claire: Apparently a lot! Cuz, god damn does…. Leave me alone, Mr. Shape! :< ... It wasn’t letting me turn off the...if it had just let me hit the speed trap properly we wouldn’t be having this issue right now… *sighs*
Blake: God! How much sin did you cause??
Claire: Apparently a lot! I really didn’t do that much! D: I don’t understand why you can’t pull him off me!
Blake: Crap, I fell...
Claire: Please leave me alone! D:
HQ: “nO, foR 8 hoURs a DAy, i’LL peRfoRM yOUR eveRY boDILy fUNCTion, mAke yOU a meDiUM-funCTioniNG alCoHolic aND rUIN yOUR aDulT reLAtioNShips fOR the LuLz!”
Claire: Listen, I’m already a medium-functioning alcoholic, blame my father
(disclaimer again, I don’t condone underage drinking. Like, at all. It’s part of my character’s story though, so…)
Blake: *laughing*
Claire: *laughs*
Blake: That is...
Claire: *still laughing* That’s fine!
HQ: “wHAt coULD bE weIRd abOUt thAt?”
Blake: *reading to self* ”What could be weird about that?”
Claire: Absolutely nothing. You’re only doing what I would do myself *laughing* (joking? Who knows~)
HQ: I feel like that’s worse.
Claire: *laughing* Let’s be real though..Oh, come on... Its-its-its not that bad….Oh sh*t! Oh sh*t oh sh*t oh sh*, oh f*ck oh sh*t…
Blake: Please...
Claire: It wasn’t letting me place the stupid tranq, er, tripwire...f*ck!
Blake: You’re fine, you’re fine!
Claire: Oh my god… D:... I’m ‘onna get shaped… I have nothing...Oh my god, I have foam… Go away! D:
HQ: So he’s not a creepy uncle, he’s … the ghost of a creepy uncle that wants to pilot you like a meat mecha. Jeez.
Claire: I mean, aren’t we all just meat mechas being piloted by..uh..a pile..a pile of flesh and toobs...Veins? Nerves. Nerves, that’s the word I was looking for….We are a skeleton inside a meat mecha being piloted by squishy tissue…. I need to heal…
Blake: I have tackled like, three sleepers, I tackled this sleeper-
(Shape is now after Blake)
Blake: There you go!
Claire: *laughing* There we go!
HQ: That is too deep for me, who even are you
Claire: Listen! I keep telling you, I’m illiterate, but I’m not stoopid *laughs* I-I’m Noon! Who else would I be? :3
Blake: *laugh*
Claire: Um...yeah… *brain has left the station* … God, my brain tonight… I really, cannot brain tonight! I feel so bad, that’s like the deep .. thats .. I used up all my brain power on that, oh my god…*small spark of brain coming back* Oh, you know what? No! I have a concern! Apparently, f*ckin’ Management, is bringing in more of their hosts…That’s concerning...I feel like it’s gonna cause a lot more trouble for us here in the Club…
Blake(ooc): Shoot! Oh my god, I was pushing the wrong button, I couldn’t push…
Claire(ooc): Did you get shaped? D:
HQ: You’re telling me. I have had that repeating in my head all day, I have barely been able to concentrate on making my special six meat ninja sandwich
Blake(ooc): Yes...I am so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention…
Claire: Six meat ninja sandwich? Man, that sounds delicious, I’m so hungry, I forgot to pack food on this mission… where are you? I’m gonna come get you
Blake(suppressed): Umm...Airway
HQ: uhhhhh is skyfish KIA
Blake(suppressed): I messed up…*sigh*
Claire: I know! I’m ‘onna...I’m gonna go get ‘im...We’re gonna be super sneaky ninja about this! Hey...If I die...you’re got my name to pull me out of the Song, so…
Blake(suppressed): *laughing*
Claire: So there’s that! Oh wait, wait I need items, I need to get items first...I have nothing on me...I’m glad I thought of that before I decided to go down there…
Blake(suppressed): That would be very smart
Claire: See? I’m not completely useless
Blake(suppressed): There’s nothing at that house..
Claire: I know! I’m getting up and over, ‘cus there’s a Shape Door over here...I’m not gonna get the ones from behind the house…
Blake(suppressed): Oh..Okay, okay..
Claire: Yeah, I’m trying to be sneaky and avoid Lucids...And the Shape….God, there Him is….Yeah, we don’t leave anyone behind!
HQ: Well I hope you get them back. Because if you get ganked and forget everything I told you, I am NOT typing it out again
Claire: I mean, listen, to be fair, it’s in text, so...I can always play it back later (referring to the text-to-speech) ..Um… *to Blake* I’ll let you look at my phone later...
Blake(suppressed): Appreciate it!
Claire: In case there’s any - oh f*ck me!
Blake(ooc): Lucid behind you! *laugh*
Claire: *sighs* … I’m ‘onna kermit!
Blake(suppressed): Please don’t!
Claire: I’m not really going to, I’mma… Okay, I’m ‘onna try and grab some stuff...over from the hobo hut…
Blake(ooc): Did they leave already?
Claire(ooc): I don’t think so?
Blake(ooc): Oh, well normally they’ll say bye..I can’t see the text messages anymore that’s why I’m asking
Claire: HQ didn’t say bye… Sorry, I’m trying to like, survive, and also listen to my texts when they’re going off, but I’m also trying to listen for the Shape…
Blake(suppressed): *whispers* I’ll be quiet
Claire: Ooh! No, you don’t have to be quiet, it’s fine. I got two ears for a reason!
Blake(suppressed): Is that two??
HQ: I’m here! I’m nervously eating my sandwich
Claire: Man, I wanna nervously be eating a sandwich! You’re making me super hungry right now…
Blake(suppressed): *laughing*
Claire: All my snacks are stashed at the Boxcar...Totally didn’t bring any pocket pasta this time…
Blake(suppressed): *laughing* No pocket pasta?
Claire: *laughs* No pocket pasta! I made it special too...It woulda been so good...My dumbass straight up forgot it…
Claire(ooc): Okay! I got some items, and I’m gonna stay super sneaky quiet…
Blake(ooc): Okay! I’m your backup camera!
HQ: That sounds… illegal, and very creepy uncle. I’ll pass.
Claire: No, not! The pocket pasta, no, it’s just *laughing* I just make food before I go out on missions and I keep it in a tupperware in my jacket pocket!
Blake(suppressed): *laughing* This is so wrong...
Claire: It’s-it’s delicious!
Blake(suppressed): *laughing*
Claire: Okay, so listen, so, I make, it’s a grilled chicken, um, with tortellini, and pesto sauce…
Blake(suppressed): *dying*
Claire:and..it’s like the best thing ever, and..ohmygod the Shape can hear me talking about my food..and he’d like “I want pasta too” and I’m like “I don’t have pasta on me, my dude!”
Blake(ooc): Lucid!
Claire: Oh f*ck! Nooooo!
Blake(suppressed): Run??
HQ: But pasta? PASTA REQUIRES UTENSILS. Maybe you are possessed.
Claire: I BRING A FORK WITH ME! *laughing* I don’t just eat it with my hands like an animal… What do you take me for?? ...You know what, no, next time I’m gonna leave some in one of those little coolers in the fridge (meant to say Boxcar), and you can just, I’ll put a little sticky note on it and you can have some, it’s delicious.
Blake(suppressed): *dying* This is so weird!
Claire: Unless you don’t like spicy, because I put a lot of red pepper flakes in it
Blake(suppressed): I’m so confused…*laughing* Why are we talking about food??
Claire: *laughing* We’re talking about food! Like I said, I’ll let you see my text messages later..
Blake(suppressed): Oh man, this is crazy….
Claire: *laughing* It’s hard for me to repeat stuff I hear, so…
Blake(suppressed): You’re fine, you’re fine...
Claire: I can’t read it to you ‘cus I can’t read…
Blake(suppressed): *laugh*
Claire: Alright, I got my tripwire at the ready, I’m gonna drop down through Dream Therapy and uh…
Blake(suppressed): That works, I’m relatively close to there…
Claire: Yeah, I’m gonna see if I can buy stuff….at the…
Blake(suppressed): Oh, I’m in the Twist now...
HQ: The thing is, um, when I see it I will not be able to forget “pocket pasta”, so… I’ll stick with the ninja sandwich
Blake(suppressed): Yeah I’m going through the Twist
Claire: Alright but...you’re missin’ out on the pocket pasta though, I’m tellin’ ya..
Blake(suppressed): I miss the (unintelligible)
Claire: It’s delicious...I mean, Blake’s had some of my pocket pasta, he can vouch for me! When he’s no longer suppressed…
(the beeping is my smoke detector going off because it had a low battery, I’m sorry!)
Claire(ooc): Oh my god, I’m sorry...
Blake(ooc): There’s a Lucid right there, be careful
Claire(ooc): Okay... just...watch out for me...um…
Blake(ooc): They went back in the Shape door, you’re fine
Claire(ooc): Okay! ‘Cus I’m like, I need another flash bang ‘cus I’ve already used my flash bang..
Blake(suppressed): Go, go!
Claire: I’m sorry I’m trying to be really quiet! ‘Cuz the last thing I need is to make a bunch of freakin’ noise and have the Shape up my ass again…
Blake(suppressed): *laugh* “I’m trying not to make a lot of noise”, you say, as you, um, jump off a cliff
Claire: Fall. Well I’m trying to get down to you! And...out of character I’m so sorry, my stupid smoke alarm is doing the thing again, but I can’t go press the button ‘cus the Shape’s on me!
Blake(ooc): You’re fine!
Claire: I’m not gonna get the cipher down here even though I hear it because I need to be stealth…
Blake(ooc): Uh, I’m in the Arches now
Claire(ooc): Okay, that’s fine… (ic) Um, I’m ‘onna hold my flash bang at the ready…
HQ: I gotta jet. New kids calling in for a rescue. I hope you make it back! Despite your mutant dietary decisions!
(You’re one to talk, Dax! Who puts six different meats on a sandwich anyway?)
Claire: It’s not mutant dietary decisions! It’s very, well reasonable! >:T Anyway, we’ll catch ya later, don’t worry, I’m gonna save Blake, go help them new kids! Thanks for checkin’ in! ...We preesh and love HQ
Blake(suppressed): Bye HQ!
Claire(ooc): Hey, I didn’t get killed while HQ was here, so...that’s what matters…
Blake(ooc): yeah, I know, I’m just like...
Claire(ooc): I was just trying to be careful ‘cus the Shape was seriously on me…
Blake(ooc): Oh no, you’re fine
Claire(ooc): But yeah, I’ll um...I was seriously not expecting anything...Sh*t! Did you report in? ‘Cus I did not D:
Blake(ooc): I did, yeah
Claire(ooc): Okay cool…
Blake(ooc): I-I went in late, I was like, “this is a late report but HQ’s on Noon”
Claire(ooc): *laughs* Shape is also on Noon! Noon cannot report -
